One and Only

You’ve been on my mind, I grow fonder every day
Lose myself in time just thinking of your face
God only knows why it’s taken me so long to let my doubts go
You’re the only one that I want

I don’t know why I’m scared, I’ve been here before
Every feeling, every word, I’ve imagined it all
You’ll never know if you never try
To forget your past and simply be mine

I dare you to let me be your, your one and only
Promise I’m worthy to hold in your arms
So come on and give me a chance
To prove I am the one who can walk that mile
Until the end starts

If I’ve been on your mind, you hang on every word I say
Lose yourself in time at the mention of my name
Will I ever know how it feels to hold you close
And have you tell me whichever road I choose you’ll go

I don’t know why I’m scared ’cause I’ve been here before
Every feeling, every word, I’ve imagined it all
You’ll never know if you never try
To forget your past and simply be mine

I dare you to let me be your, your one and only
Promise I’m worthy to hold in your arms
So come on and give me a chance
To prove I am the one who can walk that mile
Until the end starts

I know it ain’t easy giving up your heart
I know it ain’t easy giving up your heart

Nobody’s perfect
(I know it ain’t easy giving up your heart)
Trust me, I’ve learned it
Nobody’s perfect
(I know it ain’t easy giving up your heart)
Trust me, I’ve learned it

Nobody’s perfect
(I know it ain’t easy giving up your heart)
Trust me, I’ve learned it
Nobody’s perfect
(I know it ain’t easy giving up your heart)
Trust me I’ve learned it

So I dare you to let me be your, your one and only
I promise I’m worthy to hold in your arms
So come on and give me a chance
To prove I am the one who can walk that mile
Until the end starts

Come on and give me a chance
To prove I am the one who can walk that mile
Until the end starts

“One and Only” ~~~ Adele

Stressed Out and Exhausted

I don’t know what is going on with me but I feel like I’m always tired. I’m spending my semester abroad in Italy and I want to spend most of my free time exploring and traveling but I’ve been here a month and haven’t really done very much. I spend a lot of time sleeping and watching my TV shows from America (granted I feel uncomfortable being out late because of the creepy Italian men that keep trying to talk to me so I don’t mind doing these things at night) but I want to be out doing things. I need to start planning everything so it’s not all stressful last minute and I hope to get this done this weekend. Hopefully I can get myself out of this rut that I’ve gotten myself into soon because I want to be able to take every advantage of this opportunity that I possibly can. I don’t want to look back at this semester and wish that I had done all these things that I just “didn’t have time for.”

The Pursuit of Happiness

1. The only person that can ever truly make you happy is yourself. Stop depending on everyone else.
2. People lie, stuff happens. Don’t take it too personally.
3. Want people to think you’re amazing? Start believing you are, and then they will too.
4. Smiling is the ultimate anti-depressant. Smile and laugh out loud, it doesn’t look stupid, I promise.
5. The world is never just black and white, right or wrong, one way or another. Try and see things from as many points of view as possible.
6. “Let everything happen to you
   Beauty and terror
   Just keep going
   No feeling is final”
   -Rainer Maria Rilke
7. Have empathy.
8. Gossip, problems of the past, events you cannot control, negative thoughts and negative people; time spent on these is time poorly wasted.
9. When you’re jealous or find yourself filled with hate for someone/something, stop. The only person its hurting is you.
10. Although the newest, most expensive material things may make you feel as it you’re a better person, they won’t hold you at night or listen to you when you need it. Make sure your priorities make sense.
11. Step outside your comfort zone- it’s when you’ll really feel alive.
12. Don’t be afraid to be yourself, the people who really matter, don’t mind.
13. Let your emotions out sometimes, humans have them for a reason.
14. Celebrate the things you have. Think only positively of the things you don’t (but would like to have) and they too will come.
15. Love unconditionally <3.

Dear Photograph,

Dear Photograph,

I found you in the attic when we moved in. I wonder if you lived happily ever after here…

Alex

 

I found this along with a bunch of other pictures taken of photos in the places where they were originally taken and I thought this one was very moving.

 

Wearing My Heart on My Sleeve

Ok it’s not like this is a big deal or anything but it’s kinda the first time that I’m actually saying these words even though I’ve thought them a lot the last few years.

The story is about this guy that I’ve liked for a long, long time now. We have become really good friends over the past few years but my feelings for him haven’t every really gone away. I’ve never had a boyfriend and part of it is because I don’t want one–the drama of having someone always around would drive me crazy–but part of it is because I don’t feel comfortable with who I am. I’m uncomfortable with my body (even when I try to shape up, it doesn’t seem to do very much and I try really hard) but that’s beside the point. See I think that things between us could work out really good–we have similar interests, the same irritating people get on our nerves, we can both be very difficult and stubborn but we also are able to just have such a great time just hanging out and talking about anything.

One of the biggest draws to him, is his love for Disney and Pixar–most guys would think it was stupid that I still love this stuff but he actually sends me messages saying that I should come home so we can go see this movie or that (most recent being the new Winnie the Pooh movie). We even went to see Up together a few years ago and I seriously wish that he could be the Carl to my Ellie. I got him a bunch of Up things when he graduated high school (even a stuffed animal Dug which he actually brought to college with him!) and I don’t know, I’ve just always felt that we had a special connection. Part of me thinks that maybe we’ve just been friends too long and it would just be awkward for either of us to say something. I would say something (and I’ve definitely already sent some drunk texts that say a lot of it) but I’m too afraid that it might ruin our friendship.

You know sometimes I just wish someone else could say something to him. If things got weird you just blame it on the messenger and let things settle down and everything would be back to normal soon enough–and I would at least know where he stands. There is just so many back and forth hints that make me second guess almost every move. It’s not really a great way to live but then part of me thinks that this is a really bad point in my life to try and figure things out with this guy. We both go to different colleges (I’m actually studying abroad for the year) and then I’m graduating in May. I don’t know what the real world is gonna throw at me. I don’t know where I’ll be living (probably Australia or Los Angeles) and he’d still be on the east coast. I don’t think that a long distance relationship would be a great way to start things.

I always think that the good things are worth the wait but part of me feels that I would hate to end up with him years down the road and always wonder why we didn’t get together sooner. Maybe I spend too much time thinking about it but he’s the only guy that has even made me feel this way. I mean yeah sure, I’ve had crushes on some other guys but none of them have made me feel like this. I guess sooner or later things have to change and I’ll move along but it would be really great if he just knew how I felt.

Five Important Lessons About How to Treat People

I came across this article on stumbleupon.com that listed five lessons about how to treat people by an unknown author–>I think everyone should live by these…

1. Know the Cleaning Lady

   During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions, until I read the last one: “What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?”

   Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her name? I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade.

   “Absolutely,” said the professor. “In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say “hello.”

   I’ve never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy.

2.  Pickup in the Rain
   
   One night, at 11:30 p.m., an older African American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rainstorm. Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride. Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car.

   A young white man stopped to help her, generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960s. The man took her to safety, helped her get assistance and put her into a taxicab.

   She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his address and thanked him. Seven days went by and a knock came on the man’s door. To his surprise, a giant console color TV was delivered to his home.

   A special note was attached. It read: “Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain drenched not only my clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along. Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband’s bedside just before he passed away. God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others.”

   Sincerely, Mrs. Nat King Cole.

3. Remember Those Who Serve

   In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10 year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him. “How much is an ice cream sundae?” he asked. “50 cents,” replied the waitress.

   The little boy pulled his hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it.

   “Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?” he inquired. By now more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing impatient. “35 cents!” she brusquely replied.

   The little boy again counted his coins. “I’ll have the plain ice cream,” he said. The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away. The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left.

   When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies. You see, he couldn’t have the sundae, because he had to have enough left to leave her a tip.

4. The Obstacles in Our Path

   In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king’s wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way.

   Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the King indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder form the roadway. The peasant learned what many of us never understand – “Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.”

5. Giving when it Counts

   Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare and serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year-old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness. The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the little boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister. I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, “Yes, I’ll do it if it will save her.”

   As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheeks. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded. He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, “Will I start to die right away?”

   Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her.

Class Irritation

I haven’t been back to school for even a month yet and I’m already over the school year! My Italian class was fun to begin with but I’m having a hard time keeping up with her sometimes. She is all over the place and looks at you like you have 10 heads when you don’t understand what she’s saying–it’s beginners Italian! My Renaissance art history class is fine for the first hour but then unbearable during the last hour and a half. And then 30 minutes later, I have hidden messages in Italian Renaissance art–with the same professor. I actually really like the class but I get a little restless because of the previous class. And my professor is Italian so it can be very difficult to understand what he’s saying. But those are the good classes compared to my Italian cinema and Italian broadcast classes. I love learning about international film studies but the professor really irritates me sometimes. When he is lecturing about the cinematic history, he’s fine. But then we screen a film and he talks through the ENTIRE film. I like to notice things on my own and I like to just be left alone to watch a movie. I could have really enjoyed that movie but I checked out after he talked through the first 10 minutes and I couldn’t figure out what was going on. So that leaves my Italian broadcast class–it’s kind of a joke. I can’t follow what the professor is talking about half the time–I don’t think he even knows half the time. Plus neither one of these guys can figure out  how to work the damn computer…I mean COME ON! It’s powerpoint and VLC–it’s not that complicated. You can’t figure out how to do the same thing you do every week. AHHHHH Also…side note–I have a really hard time concentrating because I have friends that either try to draw on my notes, talks to me during class or they  play incessantly with their hair while sitting in front of me. Ahhh. Ok rant over for now.

My Obsessions at this Very Moment…

8 simple rules

friendship bracelets

kristin spectator leather hobo

super bass–>nicki minaj

pictures from my childhood

cool braids

cheese and ham sandwiches

tattoos

skylines

life is beautiful

No Judgments

“There’s a story behind every person. There’s a reason why they’re the way they are. They aren’t that way because they want to. Something in the past created them, and sometimes it’s impossible to fix them.”

I’ve been doing so much soul searching and trying to improve my personal wellbeing the past year or so. I think it’s been going well–I’ve been feeling much better about myself and others around me. So my next goal is to try and stop judging others. I feel like I try really hard not to jump to conclusions and to wait until I get to know a person before making any real decisions about them but I’m not perfect. I think I assume that everyone just makes a judgment about me before getting to know me and in return I make a snap judgment about them. It’s time that I start to give other people a chance, hence my new goal to tackle…wish me luck!

Opening Up and Leaving the Hate Behind

I have spent so much time during my life hating people that have hurt me–holding grudges against old friends. I don’t really know what happened this past year but so much of me has changed. I’ve decided to let go of all this hatred in my heart and let me tell you…it feels great. I sent e-mails to two of my old best friends that I had huge falling outs with just letting them know how after all these years, I’m over it. Not in a bad way but just in the way that I’ve put everything behind me and I’m not dwelling on the past any longer. They were best friends at a time when I needed them to be and everything that has happened led to where I am now. I try not to regret anything that has happened in my life because every little decision or experience has led me here. I think I’m pretty happy with where I’m at with my life now and who knows what the world will throw at me next. I just hope that I am ready for anything.